Why does everything good fall apart?

Last night, I lost a really close friend. ..A best friend.. How could that work? It really sucks, because you always think about the things you would give up for the people you care about the most. Not only is he one of the people I care about the most, but he was also on the list of very valuable objects that I could've had to give up. I didn't so much give him up as I did lose him, but I didn't put up any type of fight. There was nothing I could do. So anyone that knows anything about me knows exactly who I'm talking about...but the only person with the URL to this page just happens to be the person that I lost. Imagine that. Damnation...
A few days ago, Tuesday to be specific, I thought I had lost you. I was completely turned around, and my whole life seemed like a black hole. Tears wouldn't stop, and the thoughts running through my head were dreadfully horrifying. We have so much in common, and its a slight advantage that I pretty much know what your thinking the whole time...after I get over the hysterics. You weren't supposed to talk to me at all, from my understanding. You text me goodnight, however, and the confusion bears down upon me like I'm forty thousand feet under the ocean. The next day, you text me again, and we exchange the words that I wished I could think for hours on end. We're still best friends, and both of us know it. So TWO DAYS go by, and you text me around midnight, and give me some very bad news. It's happening all over, but worse than before. I don't know whether to think one of our friends a traitor, or as honest as they come. I hate to think either, because I doubt that either is true. The most honest person I know is you, anyways. You probably won't even read this. So you tell me the bad news and we talk about it for a while, and then you head to her house. I don't know what's going on, but a horrible hybrid of worry, fear and nausea have overcome me. Exactly an hour later I hear "...it means no worries, for the rest of your days..." and I frantically grab my phone. I read the message, and I'm frozen in a flood of emotions so strong that I don't even know how to reply. All I could say is okay...literally. I sit and wait for a reply, knowing I wouldn't recieve one. I try to keep my chin up and the tears in, all the while my sister is overcome with worry for my well-being. At that point, I'm not sure why, I actually wanted to die. You are my other half. You mean more to me than you could EVER know. I'm not mad at you, I could never honestly be mad at you. I'm so brutally hurt though. It might not be my place to be attached to you- I'm not sure. The depression bearing down on me at the moment was unbelievable. It hasn't exactly subdued, either. I sit up all night, reading and re-reading the last message that I ever expect to recieve from you, but in the saddest way, I smile on the inside, because I know that as sad as it makes you, you had to get rid of me to keep something that really mattered to you. I know that in the long run, it'll bring a smile to your face, and I'm not sure if that is the only twisted reason that I'm happy, or if that is just the reason of the moment. I want so bad just to come find you and give you the last REAL hug that we never really got to. I don't know if you remember the last hug we had or not, but I'm betting you do. It was different than the other recent, rushed embraces, but there was such a sense of urgency. Don't mind the irony. All night long, I just wanted to see your face, and read every single emotion you felt. People say I'm in love with you, but I say they don't know what the hell they're talking about. Yeah, I love you, but there is a difference between love and being IN love. I don't know if you know what I mean. I love you the same way I love my sisters, my other best friends. I'm not confessing my eternal love for you, okay? I just love you like the friend that you are. Should make sense. Here's an explination that you've probably heard before...
My life is a galaxy, completly dark save for my friends and family, who are in the form of stars. Yeah, they light the way, but sometimes it's obvious how annoyed they get with me. I had a sun at one point, a star so bright that it blinded me to my other stars, but I kicked him out of my galaxy because things just weren't going too well with the sunburn and whatnot. So as my eyes get adjusted to the darkness and the lighting ways of my stars again, a shooting star flys through the sky. For a little while, that shooting star blinds me to the other stars, but my eyes adjust to that, too. The only bad part about the shooting star is that I become so very attached to it, without realizing that it is a SHOOTING STAR... Shooting stars either burn out, explode, leave in search of something to run into, or run straight into you and leave a crater in their wake. I'm not sure how to describe the exit of the shooting star just yet, but I know that it left. Again, I am unadjusted to the difference in light, and it feels like my world is falling apart. Guess which character you are?
I don't know what your feelings on the matter are, because I've been cut out of your life. I can't say I didn't deserve it- look how bad I messed stuff up.. I'm happy that there is a possibility that everything will work out okay, that you might be able to gain her trust back, even that you did what you really wanted to do. I miss you like hell, though. I don't know how long this will last, and I'm not sure what the details of "At all..." are. We're around eachother for about three and a half hours a day, which makes almost eighteen hours just in one week of school- when we're not around each other for extra time. How in the hell is this going to work? We can exchange a whole conversation in one quick glance, but this is going to be the hardest thing that I've ever done, and I've had some twisted hardships in my life. I'm still wearing it, by the way.. Unless you ask for it back, I'm going to keep wearing it. I don't know what your feelings on me are right now, but I wish with everything that I am that I knew. I'm so sorry for all of this, and I hope your life turns out okay now.. I'm sorry I screwed everything up. Terribly sorry. I miss you.